Yes, my friends, the Islamists are now tucking their tails in, because they have been defeated by Real Americans. The liberals tried to defend the dastardly Saddam Hussein and his Al Qaeda ring, but they have been cast aside! Fittingly, as President Bush and Vice President Cheney leave office, we’ve won in Iraq, and forced democracy and free markets onto them. Now, they accept those, and are only one of two civilized countries in the Middle East now.
Yes, well, while it is certainly excellent that we have managed to kill so many terrorists and terrorist supporters (unfortuantely not enough liberals ha ha) in Iraq, I am troubled that we are leaving the job incomplete.
There still appears to be an alarmingly high number of Musilms in Iraq. I thought that our mission was to convert them all to Christianity. I think we need to increase the number of motivated troops and decrease the number of Mohamadans.
Maybe we need to call in the Air Force more. They are good God-fearing Americans and are happy to spread His word!
By: Marty McPain on December 1, 2008
at 2:27 pm
The rate of Christianity in Iraq is increasing, Mr. McPain. Also, nobody is advocating that we pull out. We still have to kill every Shiite in sight before we can leave. The Sunnis can probably be persuaded to convert to Christianity, while the Kurds will keel over to whoever is in power, just like they always have done.
By: Pokey Minch on December 1, 2008
at 3:21 pm
Oh, man, this blog is my new favorite source of crazy. Performance art is dead, all hail reality!
By: James F. Elliott on December 1, 2008
at 6:16 pm
I agree. We should kill more of them because they don’t believe in out particular brand of mythological sky-man.
By: Ian on December 1, 2008
at 9:55 pm
Also, a good chaser for that video: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation
By: Ian on December 1, 2008
at 11:49 pm
And don’t let the fact that it uses the word “sciences” in the first sentence stop you from reading the whole thing. I know that word can be like kryptonite to the religious.
By: Ian on December 1, 2008
at 11:51 pm
“Yes, well, while it is certainly excellent that we have managed to kill so many terrorists and terrorist supporters (unfortuantely not enough liberals ha ha) in Iraq, I am troubled that we are leaving the job incomplete.”
Well, we obviously need to keep our troops in Iraq, so as to kill any other Islamists that try to destroy the country. However, we’ve won, we’ve spread free markets to the formerly barbaric Iraqis, and we’ve helped lower gas prices.
“There still appears to be an alarmingly high number of Musilms in Iraq. I thought that our mission was to convert them all to Christianity. I think we need to increase the number of motivated troops and decrease the number of Mohamadans.”
This is true, and has been one of President Bush’s few failings. When Sarah Palin becomes President in 2012 or via a Wall Street coup, she will greatly increase the rate of Christianity’s growth.
“Maybe we need to call in the Air Force more. They are good God-fearing Americans and are happy to spread His word!”
There’d be too much collateral damage to industries that matter in Iraq if we did that. However, I completely support a massive bombing of Iran. As the movie 300 has shown, the only way you can beat Iran is if you show no mercy to their country.
“The rate of Christianity in Iraq is increasing, Mr. McPain. Also, nobody is advocating that we pull out. We still have to kill every Shiite in sight before we can leave. The Sunnis can probably be persuaded to convert to Christianity, while the Kurds will keel over to whoever is in power, just like they always have done.”
This is pretty much correct, although we’ll probably have to kill the Kurds if they get too resistant to conversion efforts.
“Oh, man, this blog is my new favorite source of crazy. Performance art is dead, all hail reality!”
This will certainly be worth your time more than watching some English witches dancing around a cauldron and chanting Wiccan slogans.
“I agree. We should kill more of them because they don’t believe in out particular brand of mythological sky-man.”
We should kill the ones resistant to conversion. There isn’t really any need to kill those that aren’t resisting conversion. I am confident that once we can get the free market rolling, many will be much more open towards Christianity.
“Also, a good chaser for that video: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation”
Real Americans only use Conservapedia, Ian. Break free of the Wikipedian shackles holding you back!
“And don’t let the fact that it uses the word “sciences” in the first sentence stop you from reading the whole thing. I know that word can be like kryptonite to the religious.”
Christopher Reeve was an atheist. As for science, we need to pull out a couple of Jenga blocks from the edifice, to send the whole rotten construct tumbling down. Then, we can rebuild it. Perhaps we should abstain from the word, ’science’, however.
By: Objective Scrutator on December 2, 2008
at 8:07 pm
Dear Scrutator, it’s your utterly stalwart commitment that endears you to me the most.
By: James F. Elliott on December 3, 2008
at 1:49 am
“Real Americans only use Conservapedia, Ian. Break free of the Wikipedian shackles holding you back!”
Uhm, alright:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Correlation_causation
By: Ian on December 3, 2008
at 1:58 am
We are all committed to winning the War on Iraq and protecting Israel from the savage Iranians intent on wiping them off the map. That liberals cannot have commitments in their foreign policy is quite telling, as if we were to unequivocally submit to isolationism or the wimpy United Nations, our interests and Israel’s interests would be doomed.
By: Pokey Minch on December 3, 2008
at 2:41 am
“Dear Scrutator, it’s your utterly stalwart commitment that endears you to me the most.”
Commitment to what? I’m committed to God, Family, and Republic, as all good Americans are.
“Uhm, alright:
@Ian: What are you trying to say?
“We are all committed to winning the War on Iraq and protecting Israel from the savage Iranians intent on wiping them off the map. That liberals cannot have commitments in their foreign policy is quite telling, as if we were to unequivocally submit to isolationism or the wimpy United Nations, our interests and Israel’s interests would be doomed.”
The United Nations is a pathetic joke. Anyone who seriously wants to pay heed to the primitive concept of diplomacy, ESPECIALLY if it’s through an international body that distorts statistics towards Leftist viewpoints, should probably be quarantined. Are we supposed to sit down and ‘talk’ to people who want to nuke us under ANY circumstance?
By: Objective Scrutator on December 6, 2008
at 12:26 am